The beginning of what will end . . .
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Awoke and slightly deaf, I was greeted by a mindless moment at dawn. I had no sense of time, direction, belonging or memory. Only a strong and vulgar sense of irritation in the center of my face (my breathing apparatus). The mucous hardly budged, sitting comfortably; afraid of its destiny in a crumpled piece of tissue paper. The thought of permanently tolerating or living with an obstructed nose started swelling in my mind. I am far from comfort and familiarity. I feel vulnerable at times and innocent at other times. When I am neither vulnerable nor innocent, I am dangerously curious and interested. It is wonderful to stop dreaming and start living to dream again. And it would be most remarkable if I could start breathing clearly too.
‘Spoiling a child will only turn them into beancurd.’ My father uttered these brilliantly amusing words. What he probably meant was: if you spoil your child, your child will ultimately become as useless and fragile as a beancurd. And possibly quite delicious as well, depending on how well it is garnished. Put simply, your child will take things for granted and you (as a parent) will take what ever they take for granted, for granted.
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Disclaimer. I have decided that I will no longer translate my experiences of the day into descriptions and save you (or any reader of any kind) the trouble of reading voluble amounts of words. The chase is over. No more descriptions, just delectable bits, the broken ideas or words, the quixotic, the suffocatingly vulgar and other meaningful thoughts that have no other refuge but this page. Do not carry your child on your back if he or she doesn’t wish to be carried. To put this in ridiculously simple words: it is not necessary to unnecessarily do things that are unnecessary. Living is a necessity, dying is a necessity. Waiting is necessarily living.
Friday, January 30, 2004
There is an escape, but it leads to another prison, greater in size.
What would you like to be remembered for after you die?
Wandering Thoughts. The ‘other’ makes the ’self’ aware of itself. What makes humans special or absolutely human? A famous neurologist, whose name is not in my memory and an ordeal to find, uttered these words: ‘the need to be more human makes us absolutely human.’ Essentially, our jelly or brain makes us absolutely human. And possibly our extinction as well. Though, I prefer to believe that our capacity and ability to ponder about what makes humans special or absolutely human is what makes humans special or absolutely human.
The clouds are moving very fast.
They move in a hurry with little fury.
They have no time to whisper to each other.
Though there are still some that dangle for hours.
Those dangling ones I would like to slouch on and
non-seductively squeeze.
Monday, February 02, 2004
When you run away from a problem, the problem chases you until you stop running.There is always something missing in our lives. So we think. We need someone or something to fill the emptiness. We seek novelty; we seek pieces to a complete life and in the process we miss many things. We miss many things so we can find the right pieaces. We miss memories so we can remember the beautiful moments. We miss living so we can start dying.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
Imagine sitting at the edge of a minute-hand of any time-telling device, moving in a clock-wise manner, one minute at a time. Every five minutes you arrive at a new sight, a new numeral. Behind or in front of you, is another hand that moves much sluggishly than you. Your movement depends on the second-hand and the hour-hand’s movement depends on you. The movement of one hand affects in some way or another the movement of another hand. Universally, there is something ’social’ about everything associated with humanity. Our movement, no matter how insignificant, is affected and affects the movement of others. And the medium is time. Interestingly, and speaking of time, my watch is missing – it is liberated form my possessions. And I don’t think I have the time to find it.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
Another gloomy morning followed by an episode of nasal congestion. A great day to hibernate and forget oneself. If only I can save these days for the weekends. Furtherless, the clouds are pissing uncontrollably and each droplet is difficult to avoid. What lullabies the clouds are capable of.
Uncommon sense and Common interrogations. Are philosophers seekers of truth? Or are they explorers of truths that people have sought and believe to be true? Do they have to seek the truth or will the truth naturally seek them? Do philosopher’s determine what they want to seek before seeking it? Are philosopher’s creators or discoverers? Or imposters? Philosopher’s question virtually everything that exists, including truths, to unearth truths that have probably been lost in the past or truths that are obvious in the future. It is an endless search for continuity and sense. A search that has a beginning but never an end.
Thursday, February 05, 2004
Natural Distractions. How lovely would it be to follow a cloud, either on a cruiser following the cloud beneath its shadow on the sea or on a plane flying beside it? How long and how far should I stalk it? I wonder if that same cloud will continue to drift or whether it will simply disappear or agglomerate with its cloudy relatives. I wonder still, if the wondrous things in nature, that I desire to chase or seize, encapsulates the truth that all things that are truly beautiful cannot be possessed. I wonder if I can ever possess a floating and wandering cloud? I wonder if possessing such a desire will make the very desire I possess undesirable. Nevertheless, surrendering to the sense of sight and chasing a cloud is a great time dispenser, given the energy and possibly the technology as well.
Poetic Nonsense:
The Cycle of the UnconsciousSleep.
Consciousness subdued.
Unconscious of subconsciousness.
Traveling through folded dreams.
Reaching an untimely end.
Finding a beginning.
Waking up.
Preparing to sleep.
Stranded Thoughts: I am shamefully and fortunately spoilt and lucky to have evolved from a bacteria. Is it a shame to know your shame but feel shameless? Sometimes.
Celebrations are times when we acknowledge others and ourselves – the deeds that have brought us together.
Friday, February 06, 2004
Recapturing Innocence. Her name is Michaela Alicia Lee Flemming—an exuberant seven-year old with plenty of potential for disaster. In one morning, we climbed trees barefoot and declared our territories, practiced passing with a basketball, used the revolving clothes hanger as a playground, spied on the neighbors, played hide and seek, and chewed blocks of gum. We were held captive in the dimension of fun; suffering without realizing our sufferings. I have not been as childish, and had that much amusement for a while. And that is probably the few last times. Some nostalgia can be relished provided a certain company. There is a joy in innocence, and I have lost that. But I have found it again and again, especially in Michaela.
There is a magnificent stillness in moving objects. During our adventures, I experienced moment of stillness that was metaphysical. When I was circumambulating the clothes hanger in great speed with my hands stretched on the bars of the hanger, whilst Michaela hung on the bars amusing herself with vertigo, I noticed a piece of cloth traveling in motion a few bars away from me. When I am moving in a circular motion, and I am concentrating on something in front of me moving at the same speed, everything else around me becomes distorted. It is like being in a void of alertness surrounded by confusion, and this combination makes me forget myself, and simply watch the stillness of a moving object. The object of my concentration, whether a piece of cloth or something else, will always be at a distance. I can never reach it. And so, some moments in life are only possible to experience at a distance. Furthermore, complete concentration occurs when I am surrounded by confusion, and still, my focus is undisturbed. Let confusion pass, and only bother the environment, not the mind.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
Ponderings of a Twit. Can small be bigger than big and big smaller than small? Ponder on literal and not so literal possibilities.
Disinformation. The society we live in provides us with the darkness of the day and night; reduces us to blind people. We seek to fulfill our ambitions by groping through all the opportunities in darkness. There is a social cohesion that is sustained through communal conformity. Our senses are stimulated by stimulus delivered and reflected through society. The ‘truth’ is only a reflection of what truth society wants us to believe in.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
No thoughts naturally tumbling out this morning.
Evening Tumble of Thoughts. ‘That which you cannot reform is better to endure’. Enduring what you cannot reform requires pure resilience. Many things in life are changeless, and many other things are changeful. There is not much changefulness in changeless beings and things. Any kind of persistence or obstinacy will do more harm to the person rather than that which cannot be reformed. Sometimes nature operates at a different level to our liking, and we can only wonder about its perpetuity.
Monday, February 09, 2004
Borrowed Optimism. Today I am deprived of words again, and exhausted beyond my slothful limits. But my mother discovered a poster with thoughts of an optimist. Try not to giggle or let any horrendous sound escape from any orifice above your neck.
“Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit”
“Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate”
“If you try and please everybody, nobody will like it”
“You will always find something in the last place you look”
“If something breaks it probably needed replacing anyway”
“A pipe gives a wise man time to think, a fool something to stick in his mouth”“Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it”
“Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening”
“Never play leap frog with a unicorn”
“If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don’t know what the hell is going on”
“Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference”
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
The Enterprise of Medicine. Doctors provide only temporary remedies for temporary or permanent suffering. They find a new drug that will cure a particular disease, and remain ignorant of the truth that each individual immune system is different and unique. Similarly, each virus is different and unique, and each cure for each different patient will only develop resistant and variant adaptations of the virus. As long as the virus is temporarily disabled, they have helped you, and whatever consequence or negative reactions you experience from the drug will only give them another chance to help you. And so doctors help themselves by helping you. Behind the compassion, the certificates, the practice, is an enterprise.
Remembering the Dismembering of Trees. Everything you read and have read, and will read, has probably appeared in one publication or another. What you are about to read has probably appeared somewhere on something, at sometime. The same words and ideas are being continuously uttered, communicated, preserved and shared. Words have been recycled so many times in various mediums. And some mediums have had significant impacts to our environment. Forests have been reduced to books. Bookstores are grave yards, for rooted trees. There is death in books, yet books are repositories of imaginations and animated words. I have consumed many books, and will still consume many more. Guilt does not disturb me, for the trees have been sliced, and paper produced. If trees must be sliced for paper to be produced upon my request for a title, then guilty I would be.
Control. When you control other people’s lives, you eventually lose control of your own life.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
Peace. Those who do not find peace during their life may find peace after they have lived. And those who have found peace during their life may have to let go of their peace peacefully just before they have lived.
Friday, February 13, 2004
If memory allows you, can you recall the funniest experience(s) in your life? Either my memories of laughter are too embarrassing to share with you, or have escaped my mind. Or they are of equal hilarity.
Musings. Assemble 1000 different keys on a canvas, aligning them in a consistent horizontal layout. Cover a blank canvas with adhesive and transfer over carefully each key from the assemblage. Once the keys are in place either cover the canvas with a piece of cloth, or canvas paper to create embossed pieces of paper, to paint on. Or simply cover the keys with white paint. Choose whichever surface you desire. Draw or paint directly a door with these words somewhere on the drawing/painting: “Which Key unlocks this door?” or a subtler message. Consider making the work more thought-provoking by removing a key from the canvas purposely, leaving a missing key. Or, paint a door without a keyhole, or knob, and address the same question: “Which Key unlocks this door?”
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Disinformation. Have you suffered from information-fatigue-syndrome? I certainly have, and also recovered from it. But if I am to suffer from it again, I am prepared to do so. In my opinion, and probably in most others, information fatigue syndrome occurs when you are given a large dose of information to understand, and you fail to see what needs understanding and what is ignorable. When served with a large portion of facts or information, just use your critical faculties and reading skills to filter out the nutritious portions. If not, you may upset the stomach of your mind. As for intellectual gluttons, they will never suffer from information fatigue, but they may suffer from information depletion.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
The End is Far but Near. Is death part of life? If you don’t die your life would be incomplete. Or is life part of death? Death is often perceived as the end. But don’t we start dying as soon as we are born? The only answer I can conjure at the moment is: there is death in life, and there is life in death. There is bound to be death in life as there is life in death. For now, I will continue living to prepare myself for dying.
Monday, February 16, 2004 Critically Foolish. We are more gullible than we think we are not. We are not as critical as we would like to be. And who benefits from our gullibility? The Government, the economy, the Media, Consumerism, Advertisers, Illusionists, and of course, ourselves. We have all fooled someone else, been fooled by someone else, and we all live among fools like ourselves. Is this all foolish? Or am I extremely foolish today?
My last remaining shreds of thought – Are last thoughts the greatest thoughts of them all? What if I started thinking about life, and listed all my thoughts. Perhaps the last thought would be the conclusion, the ultimate thought. But what if I rearranged the list. It wouldn’t matter, the last thought was the last to be thought of, and its greatness would supercede its order. Any last thoughts about the thoughts you have just read?
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Re-generations. Things from the past are constantly represented, reworked, reclaimed, retransmitted, and revolutionized. The representation, reworking, reclamation, retransmission, and revolution of the past are futures disguised. The future grows from the past, the past is swallowed by the future. The present is ephemeral and innocent.
Being. Drape your thoughts across a tangible object. Allow your voice to be expressed by an object other than your self. Depersonalize your thoughts and voice. And start personalizing things that do not possess a personality. Give objects the ability to be listened to, give them a voice even if nobody is interested to listen.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Unawareness of a Twit. Is your body a healthy place to live? Is this world a healthy place to live? What are we doing to our bodies every single day, and what is happening to the earth’s environment every single day? Which body, the earth or ours, is getting abused more?
Thursday, February 19, 2004
I would like to share with you extracts from an article titled ‘Save The Planet in a Chanel Jumpsuit’, by Marcus Jaye, in the British magazine ‘Marmalade’. Below each extract are my modest comments.
‘We purchase durable, quality consumer goods to reduce waste and minimize our impact on the environment . . . They have evolved in a reaction to our disposable culture. Their mantra is: “Buy less but the very best. Quality not quantity”.’
If the creation of such durable and high-quality consumer goods damages the environment more than the cheaper goods, is it really environmentally sound, or justifiable? An Environmental Impact Assessment would help. Keep in mind that there will always be something better than the very best. Personally, I believe in satisfaction, not quality. If you have quality, but buy high quality products in large quantities, it is would be detrimental towards the environment. Satisfaction ceases needs more successfully than desire.
‘People like longevity and consistency; adaptation to new fangled instructions and workings are a frustrating business. The new never seems as good as the old.’
People worship consistency because of comfort, reliability and convenience. Change is often troublesome, but necessary and refreshing. The complexity of the new seems fearful, whilst the old is harmless. But a new breathe of air is much more appealing than a stale breath from the belly.
‘Luxury Greensumers don’t take themselves seriously, they know they are a contradiction but they are making a positive step towards a less wasteful future.’
A lovely twisted conclusion.
Ideas for the muse. Write using string or rope hung on the wall with hammered nails or some other hanging utility. Writing from top to down has a more aesthetic appeal. The script has to be cursive with plenty of loops, and maybe not all characters of the alphabet are feasible.
Friday, February 20, 2004
This poem that is atrociously coarse for those who believe or worship a divine being that happens to be recorded in biblical proportions. Before you recite it mentally or verbally, I warn you that these verses were written and typed during a migraine, and was intended for provocative amusement only. If you decide to take it seriously, please shoot yourself this instance. I don’t mean and wish to offend any being of any substance.
Poetic Damnation: G(odd)
Hell has no walls.
Heaven has no gate.
Religions are only beliefs.
Only you can reveal your fate.
The Lord does not listen, to your prayers of hope.
The Lord does not answer, not even to the pope.
The Lord’s longevity, depends on your loyalty,
If you don’t believe in him anymore, it would not be a catastrophe.
All our beliefs, will vanish with humanity’s demise.
So too will God, and all his divine lies.
God is disguised as a sensation and idea.
It is his creator, who we never hear.
The Lord instructs and shows us his way.
We blindly believe to our very last day.
God causes holiness in the Holy Spirit,
God is holy,because reason is unfit.
And, because no other adjective misleadingly fits.
Saturday, February 21, 2004
Ideas for the muse. Build your artwork in ten layers of tracing paper or transparent plastic boards or PVC. Consider drawing the subject using a skeleton first, or work on different spaces of the work (corner, centre, edges, etc.). Do not translate your first layer on the second layer. Leave each stage untouched and unfinished. Use the first layer as a guideline for the second. Each preceding layer should be a guide for each forthcoming layer. Spend only a day on each layer. There are many ways for presentation: pile the layers, hang them in a cascading fashion, display them individually.
Interrogations of a Twit. Have you ever seen an armless armchair? Have you ever seen a knobless door? Have you ever seen a box without any walls? Have you seen a pencil without graphite? Have you seen a sea without water? Have you seen something you haven’t seen? What if you replace ‘seen’ with ‘imagined’. Any difference?
Sunday, February 22, 2004
A Short Exposition on ‘The Nature of Antiques’.
Everything these days are over-hyped, sensationalized, and kitsch. Yet, there still exist a realm in the commercialized world of ours that offer the charming and simple designs of the past. The past can often give us a freshness the future knows nothing of.
Most antiques are unappreciated belongings, sold to be re-appreciated, and support the well-being of the dealer. Most antiques are unwanted by others, yet desirable to collectors. Most antiques possess histories unknown to the seller or the buyer. And even those that are documented, certified or authenticated seem dubious. In antiquity, antiques were simply ordinary to every person’s sense. Now they are gazed upon with peculiarity and to older generations, with nostalgia.
What we have in our possession at this moment can be antiques in far moments or generations later. Time is the most important factor. Time and its effects are essentially every antique’s nightmare. An antique’s age and condition is what usually determines its value. Time tarnishes, covers items with dust. Time can inflate the price of an antique. Time is the only reason why ordinary items become antiques if they are not reduced beyond their physical components or appearance.
Some antiques carry a premium; they have not been lost in time, but preserved so well that age hardly debilitates them. These premium antiques reveal a certain permanence in our impermanent world. They have defied decay and nature. People collect them to remind themselves of the past, and their attachment to the past. The past is always a mystery. And preserving that mystery will either maintain its mystifying power, or degenerate it.
There are many reasons why I collect antiques, most of the reasons should make me stop, but there is one reason that will keep me collecting, and that is: antiques are things that reveal a certain authenticity, things that have endured many generations, and bare scars that reflect its maturity and nature. It is like looking at an elderly, someone wrinkled and wise. I am not interested in looking at smooth and youthful complexion of babies, but attracted to the imperfect faces of those who have experienced senescence. The imperfection of antiques is what appeals to me most. Antiques are not pathetic, they are ripe.
Antiques are items with a history, items attached with many memories, items that have experienced many years of neglect. Antiques are things that have been harassed by many people, something that was once cherished. I am buying things that are much older than I, and may outlive me as well. Antiques that have been restored are not antiques anymore but reproductions. I prefer antiques that have just had its dust wiped off. All the antiques I have bought all have a history unknown to me. A history that remains a mystery. I suppose if I am aware of an antique’s history, I would be in a position where I may be able to appreciate the antique more.
Antique stores basically give antiques a second chance of being appreciated and owned. Some antique stores smell of the decay of materialism. With that decay, there is detachment. So, in that sense, I am attaching myself, with things people have detached themselves with. I am giving these things a second chance, not through request, but my own personal curiosity and interest. Antiques are obliquities in this technological age, but remember, they are reminders of where all this technology derived from. They are collected by those who wish to get what they couldn’t get a long time ago. Antiques give consumers a second chance, and they are also given a second chance.
Monday, February 23, 2004
Wonderful Nightmare. Have you experienced a dream where you dreamt of yourself dreaming of a dream, in a dream? What a nightmare that would be.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Poetic Nonsense:
Present Dwelling
New discomfort.
A room of my own.
A student’s luxury,
in a contemporary tone.
A New stench,
in an institutionalized setting.
Nothing personal,
until I start unpacking.
The room is ready,
for my imaginative disposal.
My parents are ready,
to witness a renewal.
Welcomed by,
a new taste of independence,
Thankful for,
my parents and all their confidence.
Thriving in a unit,
wrapped with security.
Not far from,
the nuisance of the city.
A new beginning,
waiting for accidents,
A new beginning,
more social engagements.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Forgetting is in our nature. We forget to advance, we forget to fail. Our memories are recrudescent – they appear and disappear, unexpectedly or expectedly. We are tormented by these moments even when we are not aware of it. Our memories are roaming freely most of the time – we unleash them but they usually return upon recall. Humanity can forget what it has forgotten, can remember what it cannot remember, due to the complexity of our minds. And I do not have the intellectual capacity or grounds to elaborate on the complexities of our minds, and why they are such complex tissue. Lastly, we lose our minds all the time. But we manage to find what we lose.
Maxims of a Twit. If you try to forget something you will never forget it. If you wish to forget something, acknowledge it, then let it go.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Disinformation. In my previous writings, I have declared a list or a paragraph of ways to succeed in the realm of academe. These suggestions may have no utility for you, and I strongly advise you to consider your own ways of succeeding in Academe and how effective it is. I would like to take this space to share with you a revised list of what I believe is a mundane prescription for academic success through conformity.
To succeed at any academic or tertiary institution you will need to do the following: 1. Feed your body and your mind
2. Be an independent inquirer/learner/think
3. Think critically and actively
4. Do what the tutor/lecturer expects of you
5. Use what is given to you, and what is not given to you
6. Be intellectually resilient
7. Understand your lecturer/professor/tutor by communicating with them
8. Use your imagination
9. Ask questions
10. Use your concentration potential
Students need to understand that Universities, worldwide, are becoming an enterprise. Sickening as it may seem, students can do hardly anything about it. Students depend on their instructions; students depend on their facilities and resources to succeed. The university depends on us for revenue and reputation. However, we should also bear in mind that Universities have astronomical expenses to cover. And exactly how much remains as information I have no access to. All the information I am sharing with you at the moment are all accessed directly from the dangerous lump of tissue in my head.
Universities provide services to us, but also provide space for people to do business. Universities are very similar to society. Society gives us opportunities to succeed, given that we use what we have, and what we can obtain, and what society gives us. You need to make a decent contribution or possible change that has an impact to society’s needs. If you can do that, you are successful. Society’s needs hinge on your needs. But your success in society is ultimately defined by society. How much you experience in that society is a success only you can define.
I believe the experience of learning is priceless. I was appalled when I heard a speaker, during orientation week, say that “you only have to take one module once . . . just pass the exam and you don’t have to do it anymore in your life”. It seems like almost every student is in university to get their ticket or degree or a piece of paper, that may give them a reputation, and also reinforce their social sphere and network with those who can help them.
Everyone has ambitions, and everyone needs the qualifications or the resources to experience their dreams. I respect that, and cannot deny that.
The one mistake many people make, it seems like a mistake to me anyway, and everybody seems to be making it, is: they become result-orientated and try to achieve their dream in the quickest possible time and way. Results do indicate success in any and every institution, and institutions try to help you achieve your dreams in the quickest and cheapest possible way. But, results are merely comparisons, they are success based on the conditions of others, not your own.
Results give you opportunity in one discipline, but not all disciplines of life – seizing the other opportunities in life depend not on results but exploring and determination. And, knowing that the experiences of life is finite, there is really no need to fast-forward experiences. Simply make them meaningful by being fully awake or conscious of what you are experiencing at that moment.
Recollections of a Twit. “Sometimes we need to journey far, just to realize that what we are hoping to find we have missed in our own backyards” – Beautifully insightful, remembered from a sentence between the pages of an album by a band I cannot recall.
Friday, February 27, 2004
Changing to Change. Continuity is all about repetition as well as change. In other words, our continuity depends on our ability to repetitively change. Paradoxical as it may seem, repetitions are associated with things that are the same, and change promotes different repetitions. If we repeat the necessary chores of life we will survive. But, if we do not progress or change, we will not grow. What we need to repeat are the necessary daily chores that keep us alive. Progress allows us to live longer, so we can continue to change. Continuity allows us to change, and change allows us to change further.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
Purpose. I have reached an understanding of the meaning of hope and how it is extremely crucial to the continuation of all beliefs. The hope invested in God, peace, or any idea are all the same. The teensiest amount of hope is all that is needed for hopefulness. You continue to believe what you believe in because there is hope. You continue to believe in God because you have hopes for something that God can do. We continue to live because we hope, and hope that we will die someday. Life without hope isn’t life at all. The difference between life and death is – there is hope in life, and nothing in death.
Hope for hopelessness. Try it.
Sunday, February 29, 2004
The True Spirit of a Twit. Are you afraid of boredom? How do you occupy yourself with boredom? What do you associate boredom with? Boredom reflects our true spirit. Perhaps boredom isn’t as boring as you think it is. Boredom is the source of all animated things. If I remember, and I don’t, the years I spent curled in my mother’s womb is the most boring but nourishing time of all. I would like to think that I missed those moments.
Monday, March 01, 2004
Every fall is another chance to rise. Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes (Oscar Wilde). Euphemism at its finest. Experience is also the name everyone gives to their suffering. The more mistakes you learn from, and the quicker you make mistakes, the more you will progress. Keep making mistakes, but try not to make the same ones. And success will come knocking at your bed.
Tuesday, March 02, 2004
Appearances. That which repulses us, can attract us beyond its mere appearance. The most attractive beings on earth embody a high degree of physical perfection that mesmerizes us. But the most repulsive beings on earth does not impressive us immediately, but might have something deeper than its repulsiveness that sight cannot detect. What is beneath the skin of any hideous or stunning being is a type of beauty that can only be understood through intimacy.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Critic and Creator. There is an important relationship between the spectator and the artist. Both of them create. The artist creates an expression; the spectator creates a subjective opinion about the expression. Artists have their own reasons for their expressions, and spectators have their own reasons for their criticisms. The spectator needs an expression to appreciate, and the artist needs a spectator for appreciation and exposure. The meaningfulness of an expression to an artist is probably much more meaningful than the meaningfulness of an expression to a spectator. Art, at its most basic form, is communication – a language. Some artworks do not communicate anything to you, but stirs you to self-communicate.
Artists bestow upon canvases a voice. To complete the illusion or disillusion, an artist needs a spectator. You see an artwork, and you find meaning by communicating it to yourself or others. That is the potential of expression. The critic is someone who has done nothing and has much to say, and the creator is someone who has nothing to say, but simply does.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Structural Direction of Time. My plan for this semester, and possibly for the subsequent semesters to come, is: not to follow any plans at all. By treating plans casually, your life is much more spontaneous. I will refer only to my provisional plans for reference only, not to be ritualized in any way or for any moment. Structure is necessary, and time, like our heartbeat, is nearly impossible to control. I still submit to the notions of time, and stare at any time-telling device in vain. But I do not have one on my wrist.
I still waste time watching time. If there isn’t structure in my life, or if I abandon every sense of time, my life may lack discipline and most importantly, direction. Time is movement, movement is direction. How did I come to that inference? Just look around and about you.
Friday, March 05, 2004
Twitful Indulgences. Indulging in berries of different wilderness and size is possible and affordable here. A plastic case of blueberries, or raspberries, or blackberries are less than four dollars and each case contains roughly between twenty to thirty berrilicious treats. The delight of indulging in berries can become a mania if I do not control my appetite. Frozen berries, straight out of the freezer is the most wonderful thing that has every entered my mouth. If you are in a state of disbelief, we should swap taste buds. The problems of transferring the berries from the grocer to your home are the hazards such as the supermarket clerk, who is insensitive to your berry-needs, and other sharp and heavy objects that can squash your berry-delicacies. Make sure you have packaged the cases of berries with care, and frighten the supermarket check-out clerk with your reasons. Then deposit them in your freezer, and enjoy them much later.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
Other Twitful Indulgences. Besides the berries New Zealand can offer, there are sanctuaries of deep-rooted and majestic trees. Entering a public park is almost like entering the gates of heaven, assuming heaven does have a gate and exists miles away in our imagination. What I associate as heaven is a place that completely completes you – or a place that makes you breathe a little longer. At the park, you can pretend to be a tree until your body starts cursing you, or you can simply occupy a bench and become one with wood. There are many unnatural and natural distractions at the parks in Auckland. But I will not reveal them to you, you will experience them yourself if you ever get the chance to visit a park. You only have to look at the pavement or the ground stained with white-droppings to have a rough figure of how many feathered-creatures there are. You should refrain from taking anything that is natural as a souvenir. You can always take a bench home if nobody will accuse you of being a thief. Similarly, the dust-bins, signs, and lamp posts would make great gifts for special occasions. I do not have the reputation or desire to pilfer, but I definitely don’t mind accepting gifts of that nature.
The trees are simply breath-taking. Each tree is unique in every way, from the network of branches to their roots. You can only imagine what the park looked like before it was civilized and paved. The trees must have been much more animated. I will save all the compliments I have regarding the trees, and instead, encourage you to visit a park in your vicinity. Observe how nature has lost its natural setting, and how humans enjoy this tamed or civilized form of nature.
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Unnaturally Natural. Human beings can never live with mother-nature, but if we were to live in a natural (wilderness) setting we would never find it natural. What is natural to human beings is not natural to nature, and what is natural to nature is only natural for human beings if they understand and control it. Returning to nature, means abandoning what is natural to us. We are not as versatile as Mother Nature. Mother Nature has endured all our demands and needs. Mother nature continues to thrive in the urban jungles, and cause us nuisances every weekend. We need mother nature, more than she needs us. The next time you see your garden and find what I call a ‘natural disorder’, think about Mother Nature. She is simply doing what she needs to do to remind you that she is the reason why humanity is still alive today. You can put some order into Mother Nature’s effort and then marvel at how she makes you do this every single week.
Unnatural things will always decay unnaturally in nature. We are part of nature, and when we decay, we are naturally accepted by Mother Nature. If you ask me who and what is ‘God’, I would say ‘God’ is a she, and her name is Mother Nature. The miracles she performs every day, are explained and were beyond any supernatural entity is capable of. We have assigned Mother Nature with laws to explain her miracles, and made a rather absurd conjecture that what breaks these laws of Mother Nature, are miracles. We fail to really regard the kinds of miracles that operate obviously in our lives. ‘God’ does not live in us, or touch us in a mysterious manner. ‘God’ does not perform miracles. ‘God’ is simply an idea not a force. On the other hand, Mother Nature cannot be possessed or worshipped. She is ‘God’ because she doesn’t need us. Any ‘God’ needs us more than we need it. ‘God’ exists only because we believe in it. We don’t need to believe in Mother Nature. She does her thing, we do our thing.
We try to control Mother Nature, but ultimately she controls our destiny. When humans expire or become extinct, the stains of humanity may remain, but Mother Nature does not cease. She is timeless.
Monday, March 08, 2004
Do take a risk, and stretch your limb further, or swim a lot faster. The deeper waters can be reached, but you will have to be prepared to drown or return to the surface.
In my opinion, learning or education is not how much you can remember and relevantly use. It is about how much you can understand and use what you have understood to form a mind of your own. A professor, I was lucky to have been a student of, by the name of Mohanan, revealed to me that learning is self-transformation. Learning is transforming something in yourself. Additionally, it is respecting the efforts of intellectuals, and critically evaluating each and every effort. It is also about understanding the mistakes others have made, making mistakes, and learning from mistakes made. It is not about repeating mistakes. Lastly, the final outcome of education is always to become independent of institutions and teachers; to be liberated and possibly to uneducated oneself.
The educated educate the uneducated so that one day the uneducated can educate the educated.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Hand and Mouth. ‘Bite the hand that feeds you’. Biting the hand that feeds you is a contemptuous deed, and has an antagonistic tone to it. However, the one who bites the hand that has fed them, bites the hand not for the sake of biting, but for the sake of reacting. The reversal of the ‘bite the hand that feeds you’ is ‘remember the hand that feeds you’. If you remember the hand that feeds you, your attitude towards the hand would be different. Moreover, the child or person doesn’t literally have to bite the hand of their parent; the word ‘bite’ is used metaphorically for any act that causes a person agony.
I would interpret the ‘biting of the hand’ as ‘rejection of the hand’. The ‘hand’ is anyone or anything that has control of whoever is fed. The biting can be of various intensities. And can even happen every single moment a parent and child interacts, or a person of authority and subservience interacts. There is not a mutual relationship between the ‘hand that feeds’, and the ‘person being fed’. The ‘hand’ needs a mouth to feed, but the ‘mouth’ does not necessarily need a hand to be fed.
Biting the hand would signal a reaction for independence. Or other reasons such as dissatisfaction or disdain, or both. When a child, regardless of the age, bites the hands of their parents, that child is either acknowledging what their parent has done, or expressing their emotions towards their parent. Another interpretation of ‘biting the hand that feeds you’ is ‘rejecting part of yourself’. The ‘hand that feeds you’ is part of ‘you’, and is responsible for ‘your wellbeing’. Rejecting the ‘hand’ is rejecting a ‘part’ of you.
Sensibly, the hand will do what it can to prevent the child or anyone biting it. Some ‘hands’ will spoil their children; feed them with mouthfuls of desires, so the child doesn’t have any room to bite any of the ‘hands’. Some parents may discipline their child and only feed the child when the child deserves it. Some parents may instill fear in their child to prevent their hand from being bitten. Some hands deserve to be bitten, but never actually get bitten. Some unfortunate children or people have lost the ‘hand that fed them’ early in their life. And thus, depend on a different hand to sustain them. The ‘hand’ will always try to tame the ‘mouth’ it is feeding, so the ‘mouth’ or person can be easily fed.
When you bite the hand that feeds you, you need to be aware of the circumstances. Biting the hand may result in the hand not feeding you any longer. It may result in greater distance. It may result in the hand choking you. All ‘hands’ that feed always takes a risk of being bitten. Every parent always has the risk of being betrayed. Consider as well the following. The ‘hand’ that feeds you ‘gives’ unconditionally or conditionally.
The ‘hand’ completes you in one way or another. It provides a service that you require during the early stages of your life. That ‘hand’ is usually also the very few ‘hands’ you allow to feed you. Likewise the family is the most immediate community to a person, and the ‘hand’ that feeds the person is the most immediate source for that person’s necessities. Take into account that the ‘hand’ not only feeds others, but it feeds itself as well.
At some point in your life, you start feeding yourself with your own ‘hands’, and you may ‘bite the hand that feeds you’ to create distance between that ‘hand’ and your ‘mouth’. You don’t continuously ‘lick the hand that feeds you’, or ‘accept the hand that feeds you’. The ‘hand’ that has fed you should stop feeding you once you can start feeding yourself. If the ‘hand’ that has fed you keeps interfering with your feed, then biting would be a good lesson for that ‘hand’.
Some individuals or parents, have ‘hands’ that will have no purpose, if they do not feed their child. And so, they may choose to let the child bite their hand, until it becomes immune to pain, or they will find some other child or person to feed. Ultimately, the ‘hand’ that spoils the child, will be spoilt. If you spoil your child, you ultimately spoil yourself.
Before you bite the hand that feeds you, make sure you can feed yourself. If you do not want your hand to be bitten, be wary of what you do with that hand, or how you treat other people with that hand.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
Instructions of a Twit. If you have access to a television, you can do what I can only imagine. Watch any program that involves interviews, speeches, live dialogue or commentary, and count the number of inadvertent pauses, indicated by ‘um’, ‘uh’, ‘ah’, ‘hmm’. Do this for more than ten television programs, if you have time. You may realize that each target of your attention is too busy thinking to realize that they are uttering these words. We naturally and unknowingly conform to this habit, probably because our ears are exposed to it too many times. And also because we have the tendency to want to fill the time we think with a word, rather than reflecting in silence. And often, these inadvertent pauses trigger us to think. However, I find that these inadvertent pauses is merely our response to not having something immediate to say, and by saying ‘um’ we are explicitly suggesting our lack of preparedness in discourse. It seems that we pause unnaturally to disrupt the flow of thoughts in others, and to fill the gap between what we have said and what we are thinking of saying. The next time you are tempted to use any of those pauses, and some other unmentioned ones, just take a silent or a deep breath. You may start a new trend. If you have nothing meaningful to say, and wish only to indicate a pause or a start in thinking, then try to remain silent.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Instructions of a Twit. Contemplate on as many “Incase of emergency, break glass” scenarios.
Friday, March 12, 2004
To Wonder, or not to Wonder—that is not the Question. Do you have a thirst for wonder? I have wondered about how philosophers wonder about ‘wonder’, and how they present their arguments of ‘wonder’ wonderfully. And today, my wonders of ‘wonder’ came true. I was surrounded by interesting characters that have probably devoted much of their life or time to philosophy. It was enchanting to witness how philosophy shaped not only their attitudes and values in life but also their appearance. When I arrived at the seminar (late, with a packet of sushi in my hands) my mind was empty and I parked my bottom on a vacant seat. Two-hours-a-discussion-of-wonder-including-a-short-recess later, my mind was still empty and wondering how I managed to produce two pages of notes that could all fit neatly on both the palms of my hand. Upon returning to the comforts of my dwelling, I began reflecting on the notes, and strangeness of philosophy. And below, are the scribblings inspired by philosophers, mostly (if not all) whom I do not know, and the phenomena, ‘wonder’.
We all wonder. And then wonder about all our wonders. All our wonders leave us wondering still. We wonder about the wonders that we understand or have been explained. We wonder about why we still wonder about them.
Wonder thrives in the present – with or without knowledge or ignorance – and in the presence of the victim of the wonder. Wonder is being in the presence of something, and forgetting all other moments. Wonder is a natural phenomenon, and can be extremely dangerous. The danger of wonder lies in its potential of giving birth to knowledge or ignorance. And we are all aware of the devastation knowledge can cause, and the dangers ignorance can summon. However, we are all also aware of the beneficial and practical consequences of wonder. Every human advancement began as a single wonder, and all human advancement may terminate with a single wonder. On the contrary, every human destruction began as a single wonder as well. And so we need to train ourselves to wonder conscientiously or tame our wonders.
We live in a wondrous world, not because the world was designed wonderfully, or to make us wonder. It is the complexity of our minds, and the overwhelmed state of our senses that enable us to wonder. When we are soaked in the presence of that which makes us wonder, we forget ourselves, and become reduced to a naked innocent spectator. As the speaker (forgive me for impersonally acknowledging him) mentioned, we can be “disabled by wonder”, and be “wonder-wounded”.
The speaker also mentions, if I remember correctly, that wonder is a state of blindness caused by light shining on an opaque object. However, wonder can be an experience of being exposed to brightness. We can experience wonder in darkness, as well as in brightness. Perhaps these are the only instances when wonder can occur. And perhaps we live the rest of our wonderless lives in translucency.
There are still questions about ‘wonder’ that I still wonder about. And I hope they will make you wonder as well, not in agony but in pleasure. Is the object of wonder discovered, or does it discover us, and so we are captured by it? Wonder enters and escapes us in our consciousness, what about our subconscious? Have you experience a dream where you wondered about why you are wondering in a dream? Perhaps, we do wonder when we are not awake, and some may argue that to wonder is to be semi-conscious. Lastly, I would like to photographically document or the faces of wonder in pedestrians or civilians, and make you wonder why I am doing such a thing.
Final wonders – I still wonder how philosophers manage to wonder so much about wonder, when they could have saved all their effort and papers, by simply being in ‘wonder’, without any need to express or present their wonders philosophically.
Saturday, March 13, 2004
WARNING - Read the following cogitations at your own risk for confusion or clarity
Is the beginning of philosophy, possibly the end of philosophy? According to a philosopher, whom I heard at a discussion the other day, philosophy begins with wonder, and may end with, or without, wonder. But he also explicitly mentions that philosophy can also end in alienation. I wonder if the philosophers who philosophize wildly, send themselves far away; making them forget their humanity. And perhaps, the state of alienation gives birth to enlightenment and the meaning of life.
What philosophers do is seek for meaning. They dig deep into the soil of knowledge and experience, and soon become disorientated at the core where light does not penetrate. Philosophers were lured by the darkness of depth, and after years of darkness, they start digging their way up. Eventually they will hit the surface, which was once an ordinary sight. And when they do, that is when they wonder and believe to have discovered the meaning of what they originally searched for. We wonder in the beginning, and we still wonder at the end. Simply, philosophers wonder in light, search in darkness, until they are greeted by light, and start wondering again. In my opinion, that is a good way to exercise, and the best way to waste time.
What is the meaning of life? If you meet a philosopher, this question should either annoy the wonders out of them, or invite them to a discussion, or make them react in some other way. If you asked me that question I would reply along these lines: You can find the meaning of your life, if you forget or lose your meaning of life, and re-discover it. Similarly, you will find the meaning of life, when life has no more meaning. The meaning of life is: meaning makes life meaningless, nothingness makes life meaningful.
In my mind, philosophers are addicted to sensations of wonder, and will travel great depths to find meaning in the ordinary. They aspire to make their commonsense rather uncommon. Now the question I need to ask myself is: why do I still bother to major in Philosophy? Well, I am mysteriously drawn to these absurd reasons and wondering is the only thing I can do naturally and sometimes gracefully.
Sunday, March 14, 2004
WARNING –Attempt the following activity at your own risk
If you wish to be a professional breatharian practice the following prescription:
Calculating nonstop the breath that enters your lungs
Concentrate on and count how many deep breaths you inhale for:
. . . one hour (Stage 1) . . . two hours (Stage 2) . . . four hours (Stage 3) . . . eight hours (Stage 4) . . . half a day (Stage 5) . . . one day (Stage 6) . . . two days (Stage 7) . . . four days (Stage 8 ). . . one week (Stage 9)
If you successfully complete Stage nine, please inform me and I will send you a certificate congratulating you for your breath-taking performance. In addition, I will introduce you to the subsequent eight stages, and consider writing a book about ‘The Principles of breathing’, inviting you as my central subject.
This activity questions the naturalness of breath. The more attention you give to breathing the more unnatural it is, because we naturally tend to forget that we are breathing. Concentrating on the breath long enough may make us naturally occupy our attention to our breath rather than other things in life, but that may prove to be fatal to our survival.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Droplets of the Mind. My thoughts and feelings naturally bow to the weather conditions imposed by Nature. Each season breeds new lines of thoughts and moods, not to mention adaptations, and like the leaves, my mind changes color as well. The warm and humid surroundings of Singapore, which persist throughout the entire year, can drastically affect your mentality. Your body and mind perspires much more in humid and hot surroundings, and so, the more perspiration, the more exhausted you become.
Auckland offers a climate that prevents you from sweating, most of the time. And so, your mind can sweat much more. My mind has never perspired this much before. It has experienced long periods of aridity prior to my escape here. I am not certain if it is accurate to attribute the weather to my intellectual demeanor and productivity, but it seems like the best possible explanation thus far.
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
“What is to give light must endure burning” – Viktor Frankl
This quote has impelled the following introspections:
If you aspire to reach heights of greatness that can only be reached by standing on the tip of your toes, then you must have great balance and negate the ferocious winds that await you.
If we are to enlighten someone with our opinion or theory, we must be able to tolerate their criticisms.
If you think of something, you should be prepared to do it.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Seeing is not Believing.
“Time and again, Meatyard’s images strike just the right balance between somber reality and the disquieting sense that reality contains more than we see. That’s what’s truly haunting about his photographs: they compel us to feel that we need to be concerned about what we don’t see, that we need to look more carefully at the obvious because the obvious contains whatever windows into any deeper understanding of existence we have available to us. And the obvious is usually the last thing we see” – James Rhem on Ralph Eugene Meatyard (2003)
The ‘thing’ that we do not see is not concerned about us, but more aware of us than we are aware of it. What is obvious to our eyes usually sinks into the background, and all the novelty in our experiences tends to emerge to the foreground. Do we not have a mental highlighter in our minds, and highlight only the unusual, the sights and distractions that are worthy of our attention?
The obvious is dismissed, and often forgotten. Obviously, the obvious is rather unobvious, and the unobviousness of the obvious is what makes it illusive. What we ignore, what we miss, what we dismiss, is often more valuable or important than what we bring to light. What have you filtered from your perceptions? If you can remember, what have you dismissed today? Next time you survey a social landscape, examine the space for all the novel distractions, then survey the space again for all the obvious distractions. Be obvious, and see the obvious.
Thursday, March 18, 2004
Interrogations of a Twit. What would you do if you had nothing else to do, and can do nothing about it?
Divine Inventions. Whoever invented God, probably imagined God for a purpose: to make the world they were living in as similar to the paradise they envisioned. And if they couldn’t make the world a paradise, they probably hoped for future generations to fulfill their vision. And this vision of paradise has been cultivated in us through the media and society. We were not born with this idea; we were exposed to and bombarded with it frequently.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Divine Interrogations. Assuming that an omnipotent and benevolent God exists, it does not have to fulfill our prayers. Its benevolence may be reflected in its sincerity in listening to all of its believers, or in promising its believers a banal but peaceful after-life in heaven. If God exists, then God is far more intelligent than God’s creation. Therefore, the believers of God must make their prayers persuasively divine if they wish to witness any kind of divine intervention.
Suffering arises from the inhumanity of humanity. The value of suffering is a meaningful life. What is the value of a meaningful life? Perhaps death.
Interrogations of a Twit. How much more human can we become? And how are we going to become more human than our present human-selves? How do we measure our civility? Is there a being that has a superior level of civility to us? And does that being only exist in our mind?
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Divine Interrogations. How would God persuade us that God exists? Beings that exist would be able to persuade us. Therefore, the act of God persuading us would justify God’s existence. How else would God persuade us? How would you persuade other people that you exist? Try persuading your partner or another person that you exist with obvious and unobvious reasons.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Divine Interrogations. Is your God worthy of your worship and praise? Is your God worth all your praises and worship, or your condemnation and ignorance? And if you do not worship or praise a God, what is worthy of your praise and respect in your life?
Perhaps, God created a perfect world, human beings, and that is all God did, and intended to do. Without the direct guidance of God, the world and its inhabitants loss its perfection. Perhaps God was too occupied in designing other worlds. And now, believers of God are expecting God’s divine intervention or help for their suffering in this world. If this was or is the case, do we have a problem with God, or do we simply have a problem with our expectations?
Monday, March 22, 2004
Divine Interrogations. We break the laws of nature all the time, but when nature breaks one of our laws or makes us change one of our laws we cannot accept it. We start complaining in wonder, and seek ways to understand how nature made us change our laws, and the laws we attribute to nature. And when our efforts fail, we simply call it a miracle.
This is the last of the divine interrogations for this week. And no thanks to God. If you are a defender of God, or have any reasons at all that is much more sensible than the ones you have read, please illuminate me not in the name of whatever God you believe in, but in your name.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
“This, this is your life and you can either make the most of what you have or you can throw it all away, but there are people here who’d give anything just to live another day” – Whippersnapper (The Long Walk)
These are simple words that carry a great deal of wisdom. Lyrically, this band is one I worship the most. I have been listening to Whippersnapper for nearly three years, and I still feel as though I have never listened to them before, as if it was my first time.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Interrogations of a Twit. Ask yourself the following questions: What was the biggest decision in your life? And how did you come to make that decision? How can you live your life to the fullest? How have you lived your life to the fullest?
Thursday, March 25, 2004
Interrogations of a Twit. How much have you walked in life? This question is the same as asking how much experience do you have in life.
Ask yourself: before your mother or father dies, assuming they are still alive, what are the things you would like to do with them, and what questions would you like to ask them?
If you have difficulty answering this question, then imagine that both your parents have died, and now if you were given the opportunity to resurrect them, what would you like to do with them, and ask them?
Friday, March 26, 2004
I am approaching the fifth week of my undergraduate experience, and to my delight, have not suffered from madness or physical ailments. Having reflected on my present academic dispositions and plans, I have the following thoughts to offer.
Assorted Advice:
(1) Do not strictly or religiously follow the syllabus. Discover for yourself what is beyond the module, what interests you, and decide what is worth remembering not for the exam, but for your life and experiences.
(2) To reduce the amount of work or effort for each module, persuade a group of people to collaborate with you. You can work in advance and, I imagine, you can complete the entire coursework or cover the entire syllabus in 3 or 4 weeks, depending on how much work, and how many people are in your group. What happens is, each individual covers one focus (chapter/topic), and notes down all the key concepts or ideas, the support for each idea, important notes, as well as the exam component for the topic. This is feasible for all modules, even if there are aspects for each topic that cannot be covered in advance (such as laboratories/tutorials). The aspects for each topic that cannot be covered in advance will have to be progressively revised. Completing the coursework in advance allows you to have more freedom to do what you want, and gives you a lavish amount of time to consolidate and revise everything you need to know for that module. Knowledge and understanding isn’t very important. Passion and own-mind and own-understanding are more important.
(3) Each module will give you or tell you what you need to know. It is up to your interest to find out what you don’t need to know. It is the things that you aren’t expected to know that are most interesting. If you can use what you are given, and not given, your academic reputation will prosper. If you are willing to take a risk, and defy certain rules or foundations, or produce work that is subversive, then you may or may not succeed. Now, succeeding and failing is not the concern, the concern is taking a risk for what you believe in, and what you are passionate about.
(4) What you expect of yourself, is more important than what is expected of you in Academe.
(5) If you are physically fit, then you are mentally fit. Feed your mind as much as you feed your body.
(6) There is really no need to feel tremendous amounts of stress. From my personal and past experiences, to be calm you need to prepare yourself from a distance, preferably one month, before the exam or test. And that would completely erase or reduce your anxiety. Rushing through a module or a great amount of work may be a meaningless chore.
(7) Do you have to study? If you have to study, then studying becomes something you may not desire to do. You don’t want to have to study. You want to want to study. Ask people this question: ‘Do you have to study, or do you want to study?’ And so academic success is when you want to study. Or when you love to study.
Saturday, March 27, 2004
Extinction of Humanity. The notion and experiences of evil and God ceases to exist when humanity ceases to exist. When humanity vanishes, become extinct, so does God and Evil, and every imaginable idea that has been conceived and still yet to be conceived.
Sunday, March 27, 2004
Instructions of a Twit. If you have disposable income, go to a bookstore, approach a shelf of books, shut your eyes, and purchase the book that your finger has stumbled on. If you do not have disposable income, go to a library. And if you have no disposable energy, visualize yourself in any of these destinations and reading what you have stumbled upon in your imagination.
Monday, March 27, 2004
The dictum of a Twit.
“. . . Making sounds in the throat, singing to a world, even if the world can’t sing back . . .”
. . . Scribbling, writing Thoughts of a Twit to a world, even if the world does not respond . . .
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Instructions of a Twit. These instructions are not intended for all kinds of Twits.
If you have never heard of Sandara Bogujevci, then make some effort to hear her descents and ascents in life.
Go to any bus stop (the nearest one if you are not a Twit) and catch the first bus that arrives . Then see where it goes. Or close your eyes, until the bus driver tells you to open them and alight.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
So many so many. So little so little.
There are so many things to do, and so many things not to do. And some of the things that is not supposed to be done is to do the many things that you want to do.
There are so many experiences, and so much to forget. And some of the things that are forgotten are part of the many experiences in a lifetime.
There are so many moments of suffering, and so many moments of liberation. Some of the moments of suffering lead to the many moments of liberation. And some of the moments of liberation lead to moments of suffering. There are so many truths, and so many lies. And much of the lies are truths unsaid.
There are so many lessons, and so many mistakes. And most of the mistakes can never be learnt after a single lesson.
There are so many ways to succeed, and so many ways to fail. And the only way to succeed is to taste failure.
There is still much more to say, and still much more not to say. And what remains to be said will not be said, but has been said.
Thursday, April 1, 2004
This is a literary dedication to the ‘forgotten few’ who I have yet to understand, who I may never understand, and who I can try to understand with these words.
The Outcasts of Society. Among us, hiding behind the shadows of the corporate world, are the forsaken few—the outcasts of society, who are generally perceived as homeless social sponges. They are the ‘forgotten voice of society’, thriving in a system that does not necessarily need them. Stigmatized and burdened by the identity society has given them, they mooch for money and make a living on the streets. The place they call home.
The ‘forgotten voices of society’ exist as a stain on a wall: a stain that becomes larger and calls for attention, or a stain that relapses, or a stain that is simply covered by a layer of fresh paint. They try live and become accepted in a system that probably regards them as invalid beings or social nuisances. Since they are living on the edge of the system, their life is not as well-disposed as those who live in the system, but perhaps, much more liberating. Their survival is largely a matter of their resilience.
Despite the fact that homeless people did have a family and address to return to and may not have one anymore, they are not homeless. Homeless people belong somewhere and they have a place to call home. Furthermore, they share their home with millions of other people. How many of us would share our home with millions of people, regardless of having a choice, and a territorial mindset. Their sense of privacy is in their minds—their experiences. Just as we reflect part of our home, they reflect a part of their home as well. The streets have made them dilapidated and resilient. There is a certain authenticity to the kinds of people they are: they don’t have to hide behind a mask, they are who they are. The streets have made them stay on the streets. The streets mean a lot to them, just as we value our homes.
Some of them don’t really care about you. Parallel to their ignorance is the ignorance of others. Most of us don’t really care about them, we just give them money so they can either stop harassing us, or we feel sympathy or empathy for them. They have nothing to empathize for us. They strain their necks to look up at us, yet, some of us find it difficult to acknowledge their strain. Some of us even relish in straining our necks.
We find incomprehensible wonder and desire in the clouds above us when the same incomprehensiveness and wonder exists on the ground supporting our feet. On another tangent, we should be jealous of them for the following reasons: they do not have as many attachments as we do, less desires, and do not need to regulate their life with the regulations of a system. And, so they suffer less because they have less expectations from themselves as well as others. They main suffering arises from surviving, not from greed. They are worthy of our worship because they suffer less and suffer necessarily, and are more easily satisfied than us.
Their parasitic nature is a reminder of the negligence of the egocentric society we live in. We are all aware that they need more help than ordinary civilians. Some of us are aware of the extent of how much they suffer on their expense and sometimes our expense. We should be aware of these problems, but we often shun away from helping them. Our ignorance is what makes them aggressive. By becoming aggressive they hope to receive the kind and amount of attention they hoped but never received. It is a battle between acceptance and attention.
So how do we help them? Do we have the right to interfere with their lives? And do we know what is best for them, because of our moral standards, and how well we conform or live in society?
It is not how you should treat a homeless person, but how do you treat a homeless person. I treat them the way I treat everyone else, with respect and dignity. I refrain from associating them with their history and their appearance. I simply look at what is more obvious; the person in front of me. If someone looks at you repulsively or responds with fear, or attribute ill feelings and demeanors to you, how would you feel? Impressions and appearances wear thin. Some of us don’t want to be reminded of our past. Some people believe that their past is what makes them who they are now and something we need to take into consideration when judging them. I believe this is the reason for our ignorance towards them, as well as our fear. Their past is what makes some of us scared of them. Their past just distorts our perspective.
The ‘Forsaken Few’ had a family, and still have a family. As their home is extended to the streets, so are their family. Emotional, intimate support is not extended, but lost. They seek that from strangers, which, in this cruel and harsh world, is difficult to find. When they approach me or when I pass them, and look into their eyes, there is a deep sense of union. Their eyes can tell you if they really need your help. You don’t have to look at their overall appearance, their eyes say everything.
It is their humanity that seeks for help and love (respect), and our humanity to help or our inhumanity not help.
If you can forget the boundaries of the family that has raised you, supported you, and start regarding everyone else as part of your family, then you will never run out of compassion. Wouldn’t you run out of energy? Not necessarily, compassion is one of the greatest forms of dispensing your energy, and probably, in some cases such as listening sincerely, are the simplest forms as well. If you dispense your energy in a task that you do not find meaningful or isn’t meaningful to others, then you may regret dispensing your efforts, and make more efforts regretting. Compassionate acts don’t burn you out, they keep your burning for the rest of your life, until the wick falls.
They are not the voice of the wretched, they are the voice that reminds us of the kind of place we live in, the kind of disparities and insensitivities in this world. They are there to open our eyes, to make us realize how fortunate we are. We can learn a lot more from them. Their voice needs to be heard, and we need the ears and mind to listen to them.
Do you understand their suffering and do they understand your suffering?
Friday, April 2, 2004
Words of the homeless given a new home on a different page of life, from the magazine Issue:
“I think home is where the sky meets the ground, home is where you feel comfortable, where you’re happy, you know that’s your home.”
“I’ve had to be my own parent ever since I was a kid”
“While a percentage of the street kids are thieves, and junkies and liars and will do anything for money, damn, a percentage of people in corporate America are exactly the same way.”
“We all have feelings, and to be completely ignored by someone walking by when you’re just saying “hello” to them to see if they’re having a nice day. That hurts. We weren’t always homeless, at one point, we were just like them.”
Saturday, April 3, 2004
Poetic Nonsense:
Tripping on Time
The here and the now . . . Presence . . .
The later and the future . . . Absence . . .
The before and the past. . . Forgotten details . . . . . .
The here and the now . . . are moments that fleet . . .
The later and the future . . . are moments that meet . . .
The here and the now . . . forgetting yourself . . .
The later and the future . . . an unpromising shelf . . .
The before and the past. . . marvelous distractions . . .
The here and the now . . . timeless evacuations . . .
The later and the future . . . reaching hopefully . . .
The before and the past . . . digging nostalgically . . .
The before and the past . . . The here and the now . . .
The later and the future . . .
There is always something before after, and something after before.
And in between are fleeting moments of now . . . now, which dimension of time can you abandon,
and which dimension of time are you most attached to?
Time won’t tell you the answer.
Sunday, April 4, 2004
Amazements of a Twit.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 minute without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 hour without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 day without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 week without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 month without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in 1 year without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It is amazing to realize what you can do in a decade without realizing what you have done or how much time has elapsed.
It’s amazing to realize what you can do in a lifetime without realizing how much you have done or not done, and how much experiences have been forgotten.
Monday, April 5, 2004
Appearances.
“This work is about transformation – from the person we think we are to the person we really are. In the end, we can’t be anyone else.”
We are aware of how we perceive others, how others perceive us, how we would like to be perceived, and how we control our image or present ourselves. Simply, we understand our ‘self’ by pretending to be the ‘other’. The person I think I am is the person performing on a stage wearing a mask. The mask becomes a false identity that can burden or lie to me for the rest of my life. Through time, you may get tired of wearing the same mask, or the mask becomes too heavy to wear due to the lack of applause, or some one else steals your mask, or you are drawn to another mask, or the mask does not fit your face comfortably anymore. You may acquire a new mask and possibly repeat the cycle again. This is the burdening aspect of the mask. I cannot escape the stage of society, but I can still become the person that I really am.
The person I really think I am is the person behind the curtains, or the person who forgets to wear their mask when performing on stage and is comfortable with everyone. However, the person I really am is the person who has forgotten himself. And when do others actually meet my true self? I experience my true self through the art of returning and being nothing: meditation. So, when others seem me in absolute stillness, that is when they see my true self. Or when others see me without me having awareness of being seen. You don’t find your true self, you need to release it. The performer wears a mask and will only perform in front of others. The person I really am does not perform. The person I really am just exists. When was the last time you returned to nothingness?
. . . The End of what Begun
